Dear Intelligent Advice: Wedding Blues

Dear Adviser,

Two months ago my boyfriend proposed to me. Initially I was so excited about getting married and starting our life together. Since then I started planning our wedding and the whole thing gives me a headache. No one in our families can agree on anything. Everyone is already fighting about costs, location, invitees. Part of me feels like I should just go off and elope and forget the whole thing but I feel like I owe it to my family to have a nice ceremony. What should I do?

Sincerely,

ReluctantBridezilla

Response: [Adviser logged on Atlasplansawedding]

Dear Reluctant Bridezilla,

The level of the individual is what society should be operating on. Concern for the happiness of your family may seem noble but it is actually against your individual best interests and thus should be eliminated. Your wedding should benefit and profit one person: Yourself.

You must be a leader and shape your own destiny. Plan your wedding so as to minimize money out of your pocket and maximize money in. If done correctly a wedding can be a chance to make money and secure your future happiness:

  1. Be sure to not put any gifts under $50 in your registry and know exactly what the store’s policies are on returning merchandise for cash. If each invitee is going to eat a meal paid for by you then they can at least buy you a $50 toaster.
  2. Plan a destination wedding that is far enough away and exotic enough that no poor relatives can possibly come to it but all rich relatives would love to. That way you don’t have any parasitic poor relatives coming just for the party and free food. However they will probably still buy a gift from the registry out of the guilt that is so rampant among their class. You should meanwhile work to remove all guilt from your emotional palette. It is a useless emotion that will get you no where.
  3. Establish dominance with your fiance now. By the end of this process he should know you are not willing to sacrifice your happiness for him in any way. Any attempt to diminish your integrity as an individual human should not be tolerated. The earlier this is established, the happier your future marriage.

I’m hoping these ideas will be a good starting point for you, but in order to truly have a great wedding you may need to sign up for my bi weekly newsletters and perhaps become an active member of my society. It is the only way to really foster the free will of the individual.

Sincerely,

Objectivists 4 Lyf

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