Dear Intelligent Advice: The Power of the Positive

Dear Intelligent Advice,

                  My new year’s resolution was to get more into positive thinking and mindfulness as an attempt to live my best life. I recently attended a seminar on challenging negativity and one of the key ideas is that if you put out positive energy into the universe it will come back to you.

I try to practise positive visualisation every day; imagining myself being successful and happy – but the problem is my shitty job and bad relationships haven’t changed, and the daily minutia and drudgery of my existence continues to depress me. Yesterday, my power got cut off because I couldn’t pay my electricity bill, despite the fact that I’ve been channelling good vibes and trying to look on the bright side of life.

What am I doing wrong? How can I end this cycle of negativity and become a more positive, spiritually enlightened person?

Sincerely,

GloriousAura

Response: [Adviser logged on I’llbeCandid]

Dear GloriousAura,

Let me answer your question with a question. Do you believe that vice is punished and virtue rewarded? That the universe is fundamentally a benevolent force and that everything will somehow work out eventually?

I will bring to your attention a friend of mine, we’ll call him Frank. Frank was a fundamental optimist, and took great pleasure in ridding himself of his various worries by assuming that everything happens for a reason, and the best of all possible circumstances could be achieved with a fundamental palate of optimism.

Ignoring the empirical facts of the matter; that his credit score was terrible and he was orphaned with no close family of whom to speak, he left his job to pursue the more spiritually meaningful field of full time mindfulness, buoyed by his spirit of positivity. His girlfriend promptly left him as she realised she would have to endure his obnoxious character without financial recompense, but AHA, thought he, ‘surely everything happens for a reason – this setback was only in order that I might meet the true love of my life who understands me’.

Frank was hit by a bus and died the next day.

The universe is indifferent to you and your suffering. Positivity will not change the outcome of your life. Orientate yourself towards hard work and tangible outcomes, only then will your life improve.

Sincerely,

Polemics for the Masses

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