Dear Intelligent Advice: Pas de Petit Morts

Dear Adviser,

I am a 34-year-old woman and I have never orgasmed while having sex with a man. I have on my own, just never during intercourse. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something I can do to fix it?

Sincerely,

Pas de Petit Morts

Response: [Adviser logged on PinkoMarx]

Dear Pas de Petit Morts,

I know this will surprise you to hear, but this problem is not unique to you. Many women experience it. It is caused, like all modern problems, directly by the capitalist economic system that keeps us all enslaved to our roles as either bourgeoisie or proletariat.

How can any woman be free to enjoy sexual pleasure when she is part of a cruel and dominating upper class that abuses workers and only cares about buying cheap consumer goods? Or if the woman is part of the proletariat and must endure constant hardships, endlessly completing small tasks for minimum compensation with no end in sight?

You see, it is almost impossible to achieve orgasm under these harsh economic conditions. So I propose to you the only real solution to your problem: you must actively work to overthrow the capitalist system and replace it with a communist model.

Good luck in your struggles, Comrade!

Sincerely,

The Red Scare

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