Dear Intelligent Advice: Can’t Commit

Dear Intelligent Advice,

          My girlfriend keeps insinuating we should get married and have children. When I consider the idea it is with more fear than happiness – what should I do?

Sincerely, 

Can’t Commit

Response: [Adviser logged on DharmaKerouac]

Dear Can’t Commit

First off I need to tell you it is impossible to fall off of a mountain. This is not a real fear. yet still people are afraid to climb mountains. But mountains are a real natural thing, beautiful and clear. Marriage is more muddled and fear may be the natural response for any man who wants to live a real life. You need to break away from all chains, not tighten them around you.

Write your girlfriend a 1-word letter:

“Good-bye”

Buy an old car. Fill it with gas and drive all night. When day comes keep driving. Drive until you do not know who you are anymore. Drive away from all illusions of yourself.

When enough time has passed that the face you see in the rearview mirror no longer looks like your own face, pull up into a little dinner and order eggs, toast and black coffee.

It is only there in that strange little town surrounded by unfamiliar faces that you will have your answer.

Only by then the question will have changed.

Sincerly,

A Subterranean

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