Dear Intelligent Advice, I really want to be an Instagram model; the girls on there have such beautiful and glamorous lifestyles, but I have no idea how to go about it. I follow my favourite bloggers for #goals, post once a week and promote myself online, but I’ve only got 400 followers, and most of those... Continue Reading →
Dear Adviser, This time next week I will be moving to America. I have spent the past 5 years of my life in a refugee camp. I was finally selected for resettlement in the United States and am equal parts excited and terrified. On the one hand I feel like I can finally hit the “unpause” button on my life and start living again, secure in the fact I have a home. On the other hand I hear all of the accounts of xenophobia and immigrant scapegoating happening in America right now and feel that I will not be welcomed there and may eventually face some of the dangers I did back home. What can I do to fit into American culture?
Dear Intelligent Advice, I’m unhappy with my appearance: I look in the mirror and I’m never satisfied with what I see – I look bad in all my clothes, and nothing seems to suit me or flatter my figure. I’m not hideously ugly; some... Continue Reading →
Dear Adviser, This is my senior year of high school and everyone expects me to start college next year but I don’t want to. I want to take a year to go off and see the world. How can I convince my parents this is a good idea so they won't freak out?
Dear Adviser, Two months ago my boyfriend proposed to me. Initially I was so excited about getting married and starting our life together. Since then I started planning our wedding and the whole thing gives me a headache. No one in our families can agree on anything. Everyone is already fighting about costs, location, invitees. Part of me feels like I should just go off and elope and forget the whole thing but I feel like I owe it to my family to have a nice ceremony. What should I do?
Dear Intelligent Advice, My new year’s resolution was to get more into positive thinking and mindfulness as an attempt to live my best life. I recently attended a seminar on challenging negativity and one of the key ideas is that if you put out positive energy into the universe it will come back to you. I try to practise positive visualisation every day; imagining myself being successful and happy – but the problem is my shitty job and bad relationships haven’t changed, and the daily minutia and drudgery of my existence continues to depress me. Yesterday, my power got cut off because I couldn’t pay my electricity bill, despite the fact that I’ve been channelling good vibes and trying to look on the bright side of life. What am I doing wrong? How can I end this cycle of negativity and become a more positive, spiritually enlightened person?
Dear Intelligent Advice, I am a single mom and my two kids won’t stop fighting each other and share things. I try and explain why they should to them but sometimes, after a long day’s work, I lose my temper and just yell at them that they have to share or I’m gonna get mad. Am I a bad parent?
Dear Intelligent Advice, I am a coward. I am afraid of practically everything. I am 24 years old and the list of things I have never done and probably never will is exhaustive: Driven a car, slept with a woman, travelled alone, been drunk, initiated a conversation, gone to a party, flown in an airplane. I live everyday in fear and anxiety knowing I will never be normal or operate the same as so called “normal” people. Math is the only thing I understand and feel comfortable with and I spend my days working on a phD in mathematics. It is rewarding but I spend my time alone and miserable knowing I will never experience most of the spectrum of human life. The other night one of my colleagues literally dragged me with him to a bar. I stood awkwardly by myself while he drank and tried to pick up chicks. At one point I went to the restroom - mostly just to be alone. There I saw a man clearly tripping on drugs and having what looked like a great time. Now I fear that behind every narrow door is a man in a red woolen shirt getting incredible kicks from things I’ll never know!
Dear Intelligent Advice, I understand that déjà vu is a common enough phenomena that is experienced by everyone at some point in their lives but lately I have been experiencing it almost every day. The minutiae of my life seems to be repeating over and over again. I can no longer tell what is a genuine experience and what is just a cheap knock off in my memory. Is there something deeper at play here?